Wish you happy Break-Up: Real Life -Style

                       Dynamics of Healthy and Sick Relationship

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Graphs are great instruments to understand the phenomenon of life. Just like Yantra in Hinduism is a geometrical representation of  Mantra, embodiment of power house to recharge the battery of life, similarly  graph also help  in understanding  the contours of life.

The journey at Plateau from Point B to Point D is very important. It is not necessary, you would have only one dip at Point C, on the contrary the road is quite bumpy and it is more important that after every dip both the individuals feel a growth as a human being, which is the ultimate object of any relationship.

As we have seen earlier all relationships have different equation, so they have different remedies to rectify the imbalance. As our body yearns for harmony so does all relationship tends to be harmonious. We can only generalize some of the most common factors causing imbalance:

1. Boredom: One of the most common cause is boredom. If both the partners are creative and innovative, they soon find out a way to kill the boredom and head ahead.. If both are non creative, they may not feel that boredom has crept in and would be killed by it unknowingly. If either of them is creative he/she has a greater amount of trouble than the first two types. The non creative partner acts as dead weight and all the efforts made by creative one are laughed at and ridiculed.

2. Aggression: Second deadly emotion is aggression. It does not mean being aggressive towards your partner. It means 'Aggressive Life Style'. It means 'snatching by walking into the other's territory'. If either of the partners has aggressive life style and other is not extraordinarily meek, they would quarrel in public like two crazy people and if another partner is meek he /she would slip out of bed one fine night and walk away.

3. Satirical: Being satirical is worse than domestic violence victimization. Domestic violence has lots of support from society and law, but you can't call the Police if your partner has just passed a satirical comment leaving you speechless and battered. The quality of satires may vary depending upon the intellectual level of couple. A single satire in appropriate situation may lead to the breakup. The idea is to control the desire to pass a satire or revert back with a satire. It could save a relationship.

4. Consensual:  Consensual couple is likely to break up earlier. Being always consensual starts sending red signals and if the other partner is not an asshole he would know that their relationship is now terminable at any moment. Nagging is not the remedy or could be worse. The idea is to suggest something better or to come out with a better alternative to the proposal of your partner, not to make him feel inferior, but to show that there is application of mind on your part also. If done tactfully it could lead to a magical relationship.

5. Timidity: The moment your partner realizes that you are very  timid, he/she  would emotionally blackmail you, till you collapse in self pity. If you are not brave, you can't pretend to be brave all the time. But you have to take a stand once a while and stick to it with firmness. Your partner would be agitated by such unpredictable behavior, but it would leave him amazed and you could see a new respect in his/her eyes for you.

Past, howsoever bitter it may be has sweet memories. So, cherish the memories of all that happened between you, when the graph after Point D would take up an upward turn and take your relationship to a new height.

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© Vipin Behari Goyal

Excerpts from his Book "The Worst is Over"

Author is also Advocate at Rajasthan High Court, Jodhpur

Read more at: http://vipinbeharigoyal.blogspot.in/