The Square Root of Two

All real numbers are irrational

Photo: Madwell

All real numbers are irrational

Everything that is real is irrational. I am real that is why I am irrational. We live in the society of hypocrites who live artificial life, and entails be real. I am so sorry; I am not one of you. Love me or hate me, better hate me. I am not worthy of your love. After all, you are part of them-a hypocrite.

I met her first time in the library. Books are my only passion. There was no rationale in her being there. She was beautiful, and not in the ordinary way. She had divine beauty, if you can forgive me for using the word divine. Living with mortals sometime, I may think like them, even though in reality I am immortal.

"Love at first sight" how idiotic and irrational. What could be the rational in falling in love at first sight? Very illogical. When I was fully confident, I decided I am in love.

I was looking at the signboard of genre above Almira of books. It was Philosophy. All the more irrational and hence better. A divine beauty in search of Philosophy. I took the book she had put down. "Marriages and Morals", by Bertrand Russell. I was looking at the book and smiled at her. She was offended. Offended girls look more beautiful. I bowed to her. She ignored.

So once again, I find myself in love. Nothing is more irrational than love. Even life which I have always been so severely condemned may have some meaning, as the Buddha and of his like claim, but love, no they never said it has some meaning. The buddha said "unfathomably deep, deep like a fish course in water is the character of women". Can there be more degrading than this. If you say this about the woman you cannot say anything about falling in love with a woman who has no character.

Yes, saying that the character of a woman is like a fish course in deep water is like saying they have no character at all, and to fall in love with them would be a mere foolishness. No rational man would ever do it.

Moreover, you say love is blind. It means it makes you blind, and how something that causes blindness could be a rational, and an affected person who goes blind would become irrational.

Love has no criterion of beauty and ugly, rich or poor, old and young, it is so irrational a thing that people are ready to accept any nonsense in the name of love.

I loved this irrationality about love, there are not any limits, with whom, where, why, how many times, there are no rules.

Being irrational man, I fell in love many times.

This girl in the library I fell in love with is somewhere on my long list, since I have forgotten the count.

Not only love, but also marriage is irrational. Human is polygamous by nature. By marriage people create a family and pass on their fortune to them, thus rich becomes richer and a poor, poorer. At least there are laws about marriage, but love has no law to be subject to. The society is more irrational than any individual is.

I have a great condemnation of society in my heart. Society has good reason to be irrational, but nature has no reason to be irrational.

Society can permit your falling in love many times, though it cancels your driving license if you break traffic rules even few times. Nevertheless, how do you justify producing billions of sperms just to fertilize an egg. That is simply stupid. What a sheer wastage of life force. No theory of probability can justify it.

However, I always take advantage of probability theory while proposing a girl. Every fifth girl has always accepted my proposal. This one was fifth. Let us see.

The girl walked up to me.

"Can you suggest me a good book on existentialism" Her eyes were like a lake I would love to swim. Though I don't know swimming. May be I will be drowned and died. Will she come over to funeral?

Sure, I would have embraced her, at any other place. Time is essence. The time between my decision to propose and making a proposal is sometimes in a nanosecond.

"Read Notes, from underground by Dostoevsky".

Is it in this library?

It was. I have stolen it. I was prepared to speak the truth. Why truth? I asked many wise people. They are confused. I think the truth is irrational. It has created more chaos than harmony. Suppose all husbands start speaking the truth about their extramarital affairs, how much hurt and agony they would create. All offenders if speak truth, there will be no place in jails. A lie saves so many lives. I propagate lie.

"No, this library has modest taste in philosophy. If you want I can lend you one".

"How"?

"Come to my house, it's not far."

It was my fifth proposal in last one week. I propose only on weekdays. I enjoy my weekends.

She agreed.

We were walking.

"Name"

"Urva"

I looked at her.

"Suits you"

"How"

"Everything is excessive" I looked at her bosom.

She was red.

"What's your name" She distracted.

"Vijay"

She looked at me and said" Tower of Victory"

"Would you climb?"

She was red again.

 All girls are equally fool or wise. Make a yardstick or parameter as to what a girl of a particular age should know. Suppose a girl of eighteen should know literature, movies, driving, dress up, make up, music, cooking, stitching, embroidery, mopping, swapping etc. Besides being at least average in studies. Apply research methodology of mean, mode and median, all girls will get an equal number. Every beautiful girl knows she is beautiful. Every girl who knows she is not beautiful creates an image of her beautiful self.

So if you appreciate them it always conforms to her view.

The provision of Experimental Error in Research Methodology makes it irrational exercise. Whatever may be the dependent and independent variable of beauty of a girl, if beauty is in the eye of the beholder it makes beauty dependent on extraneous variable. Which will be an experimental error and whatever conclusion you will draw will be erroneous and irrational? To protect results from extraneous variable we do randomization. It is like being irrational to rationalize.

Out of my habit of analyzing the data, I drew curves for events from the first meeting with the girl to break up. Surprisingly, in most of the cases it is a normal curve without any skewness. I always avoid skewness. I do not want to postpone my expression of desire if I like a girl, and once my object achieved or not, if the relationship is dead weight, I get rid of it earliest possible. Most of the time both of us feels relieved by termination of the relationship. I create such circumstances. If we go to have to depart, let us depart as friends with some sweet memories. It's my motto.

Though I am mesokurtic and like the humpedness of the curve. I wish to enjoy my relationship for a reasonable time once it reaches its peak. It is like a bell in the temple. That is my best time in a relationship with a girl.

When we were walking, a car stopped near us. It was Audi and my friend Ravi Shankar was driving. My all friends are poor only Ravi Shankar is rich. Usually I dislike rich people. Rich people are like lepers. They are so obvious. Being rich is their solitary quality. They are very proud of all those things for which they should be ashamed of. Vulgarity is their passion and sarcasm is their wit. For me they are 'untouchable'. Since I have been very popular, they always envied me and searched for an opportunity to make me look down. They never got it.

Ravi was also one of the stereotypes. But he had certain qualities for which I liked him. He behaved differently with me. He sought my advice in his love affairs. His taste in art and culture was slightly more refined.

He asked whether we want a lift. I looked at Urva. The expression on her face was of consent. Ravi took us to my home. I did not request him inside.

I lived in a small house, with a tiny garden in front and two servants who lived in back out houses. They were father and son. Father cooked food for all of us son cleaned house and ran errands. My house was decorated with excellent aesthetic sense. Partly it was the contribution of my all past girlfriends. They always attempted to regulate my life by arranging the things in order of their choice. Some preferred books in drawing room other in the bedroom. I obliged them by permitting to interfere.

The peasants live a rational life. They do physical labor to earn money and fulfill their bodily needs. They do not sell their mind. To sell mind just to quench your physiological need is just one of the most stupid things. Not only you sell your mind, but also the mind becomes a garbage bin by collecting wasteful information, which does not play any role in improving life. On the contrary, mind becomes conditioned and later by the time you realize the wastefulness of life you were living some sage tells you to unlearn and make your mind unconditional. So I do not learn anything which later I will be required to unlearn.

There was silence. We were walking leisurely when I asked

"You know 2+2=5"

"Yes, I do fuzzy math."

"You know the square root of two plus square root of two is equivalent to one."

"Yes, the sum of two irrational numbers could be a rational number. However, why are you asking?"

"Are you irrational?"

"Yes, I am. No girl would go to the house of a boy without knowing anything about him."

"Are we not complimentary to each other?"

"You mean biologically or mentally."

"Both."

It is still too early for me to decide.

I have made my mind. It is either you or none.

What is the logic?

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©  Vipin Behari Goyal

Excerpt from a forthcoming book