Butterflies
can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but
everyone else can ~ Naya
Rivera
Reflection On Perception: Photo By Ashu
I
hate to look at myself in the mirror. I am not ugly. I look good. My mirror is
perfect, but I am not. I do not like many mirrors in the house. I have kept
only one, above the washbasin. People expect me to have at least one at this
place. It depresses me. My day starts with a sigh of sorrow to face another day
of self-deception.
My
parents repeat the same sermons every morning as if it is great news. They
think I am tactless. I believe what they say, though I do not know exactly what
the meaning of tact is. I like the way I am, but the obsession of being tactful
has made me ugly. Why all those who claim to love me, crave for my improved
version. Why do they lack empathy if they are not narcissistic?
It
is better to be ‘tactful evil’ than to be ‘tactless good’. They advise but do
not clarify. I cannot be a puppet. I do not have any strings attached. Not even
in my mind. I walk, sleep and wake up like a robot. Can you expect a robot to
be tactful?
My
well-wishers say, “You have talent, tactics can make you successful”. It may be
another way to say that I am dumb, which I am not. I do not appease my parents,
teachers and bosses by keeping a record of their birthday and marriage
anniversary, nor do I play vice versa with my friends and colleagues. I can be
as jubilant or sad as you can, without being verbose about it. You may find me
a ‘good company’ even if I remain silent.
I
perceive the things in fragments. I take time to visualize a concept in its
totality. If people do not have patience, they walk away. I do not mind. I
cannot proceed unless I am sure. I vouch for the Truth. Society does not
appreciate the truth. They seek pieces of glass with diamond cut.
Tact
bridges the gap between talent and success. Everyone has a different idea of
success. Society approves people who chase prosperity, fame and status. It
makes society indispensable. For me success is happiness, but I have no idea
what makes me happy. The same things often have made me feel gloomy.
I
want to spend time with innocent young people. I find them more creative than
experienced, wiser people. They had had
their life; I want to have my own. The hypocrite behavior of people around me
is confusing, but ultimately I will find my way. May be not today, or tomorrow, but eventually, I will. I am not in a hurry. If time mould me to be one of
them, I would commit suicide. However, I doubt if any of them have the courage
to do so.
Letters to CC:
© Vipin Behari Goyal
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