Existentialism, Feminism,
Marxism, Post-Colonialism and Psychoanalysis of Bull
He starts
from point A every morning and by the time of evening when his eyes are uncovered,
he finds himself again at point A. But he has a sort of satisfaction that he
had a long journey that day, maybe he missed the scenery on the way, but the
satisfaction and smile on the face of his master tells that he has really
performed well. This had been his routine for many years and he has walked
thousands of miles, and if his blindfolds were not removed every night, he
would have thought himself to be on the other end of the Earth. Thankfully, his
master took great care of him after his work was done, massaged him, gave
fodder, gave him a bath if required, and saw that he was comfortably settled in
the stable. At his Bovine family, he was looked upon as someone drafted for
good and not only his mature counterparts of the opposite sex, but even the
heifers could know that he was good for nothing and turned their faces away,
when he grazed with them in the pastures. He cannot forgive the one who had one
fine morning removed his vital part to convert him into that which changed his
destiny. And he could do nothing about it. God was great, but man was mischievous.
Now nothing matters. All beautiful heifers have no meaning
for him. Even his nose is permanently obliterated to identify estrus. May be
his long walk would lead him to land where he would regain his lost bullhood .
How strange it is that his female counterparts never claimed
that equality with them that his master's wife always demanded with her
husband. His counterpart females were contended with milking, propagation and
ultimately being served as beef. Not that he finds any difference in the life
of his female counterparts and that of his master's wife. The comparison is
endless and he was astounded with parities. The only thing he doesn't know is
that his master's wife would be chopped when she goes sterile or they would
wait even longer, when she is finally of no use. If this disease of equality spreads
in his bovine family, he is sure it is going to create a havoc. His cousin and
even his real younger brother were spared by his master, who only gelded him of
his vitality. His neutrality of gender had made him stoically neutral towards all
issues pertaining to life- or even death for that purpose.
His endless walk is very purposeful. He knows by the smell of
sesame, groundnut and mustard. Many times master or his little son has
exclaimed with happiness. Once master told his son the story of Sisyphus. He was a king who could
even cheat the God of death. He was ultimately condemned to drag the boulder
uphill and let it roll down and then drag it up again till eternity. The
child had innocently asked "Is our Joe (well, that's his name) also
Sisyphus"? He was very intent to know what his master thinks about him. But like
all masters he too laughed it off. No good master should reveal his true
opinion about his servants. A confused servant serves a better purpose than an
opined servant.
Once he met a maverick colleague in the grass field. He was
liberated by his master, but he was feeling abandoned. He felt desolate and rejected due to identity
crisis. He always took pride in being owned by his master, though when he was
serving, he always cursed his master for being cruel and hard task master. Now
when he was independent he remembered all the good qualities of his master. How
much care he took of him, kept him warm in chilling winters and fed him good
fodder even when he fell sick. Others took pity on him and tried to help him
out, but he was also too arrogant to accept the help of others. Everybody
thought he had no future, till one winter evening a lady who looked affluent by
her carriage and dress, stopped near him. She found he was shivering so she
asked his coach to find out that if there is no owner, he should be provided
with shelter and fodder. Liberation always leads to some other kind of slavery.
Frankly speaking, there is no true liberation. One amazing thing he found was
that these affluent people always had a lot of pity for all types of our kind,
but little or no mercy for their own kind. After some time he found that his
colleague waited anxiously for the lady to take his care . He had gained good
health, there was meat on his bones and he looked more well fed than his fellow
grazers. What he did not know was that a group of wolves from nearby woods was
making a conspiracy to attack on him at night.
Thankfully, he( Joe) had a short memory. Most of the time he
lived in present and had no obsession to repeat what has happened in the past
or to dream about what may happen in future. He could retrieve a few things
from the immediate past, but that was all. He was truly happy with kind of mind
set. He disliked his master when he mentioned very old incidents with great
fondness or talk about prosperous future which would never come. He saw his
short memory as a boon. It not only saved him from the vices of revenge, greed
and anger, but also, prevented him from making silly mistakes like his master,
who sometimes forgot to cover him with a blanket in the cold winter night and
he had to shiver the whole night. May be he wanted to punish him for walking
lethargically that day.
{The oxen are still being used in rural India to extract oil
from oilseeds, where ox goes around an improvised wooden grinding machine. The
oilcakes formed after extraction of oil are consumed by human as well as
animals.}
© Vipin Behari Goyal
Excerpts
from his unpublished book 'World is Conical'
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